5 characteristics shared by
people
who recover from CFS/ME
By Alex Barton
In my experience people who recover from CFS/ME share
certain characteristics. All these characteristics can be
cultivated. (Personally, self-discipline was the hardest
lesson for me to learn and change was what I was most scared
of).
The 5 characteristics I have noticed
most are:
1. Belief in the possibility of recovery
2.
Self-discipline
3. Strong determination and a refusal to
give up
4. Willingness to change
5. Non-acceptance of
limits
1. Belief in the possibility of
recovery
People who recover usually believe it is possible to get
well and have tried many different ways to get better. If
you don’t believe you can recover there is no point in
trying – and your chance of recovery is therefore lessened.
If you believe in recovery you will start looking for ways
to recover and do what you think you need to do. The outcome
is a greater chance of recovery.
If you find it hard
to believe in recovery start gathering evidence that
recovery is possible by reading recovery stories. All 50
authors in the book “Recovery from CFS – 50 Personal
Stories” were diagnosed with ME or CFS by a specialist and
made full recoveries. That should help convince you.
2. Self-discipline
People who recover need self-discipline to make
themselves do the things they think they need to do to get
well – for example eat a good diet, rest, pace and so on.
You are not born with self-discipline – it is an ability you
can cultivate which needs practise to become strong.
How do you that? One way is to choose one thing you
think you should be doing - for example taking your cod
liver oil (ugh) every day. Make a graph and give yourself a
tick every day that you do it. When you have a month full of
ticks give yourself a reward. When taking cod liver oil (ugh
again) has become a habit then you can add in something
else. Your ‘self-discipline muscles’ will start developing
and the more self-disciplined you will become.
3. Determination and refusal to give up
People who recover have the determination to keep going and
pick themselves up after every dip. The best way to keep
determined is to have a belief in the possibility of
recovery. Think of something nice you would like in the
future – a goal – perhaps you would like to go skiing for
example. Keep that thought at the forefront of your mind.
Think about where you would like to ski, imagine yourself
skiing, collect pictures and brochures, keep a card in your
pocket reminding you about skiing. Every time you crash
concentrate on what you want most, the skiing and it will
help you to pick up and carry on.
Remember, recovery is
not smooth, it is all ups and downs.
Don’t let the downs beat you. Concentrate on what you
want and you will naturally steer towards it. (It took me
years to find my answer. If I had given up I would still be
ill now. And skiing was my personal happy thought which
helped).
4.
Willingness to Change
People who recover make changes. Something
about your life before you got ill made you vulnerable to
getting CFS/ME.
Go back through your life, was your diet
great? Were you happy in your work and your relationships?
Change whatever you think might have contributed to your
poor health and anything that you think might be keeping you
ill now.
Your previous life resulted in CFS/ME. Change
something.
(I was terrified of change. I thought I had to change
my personality in order to get better. I didn’t want to
change my personality and thought it would be impossible
anyway. However, my ‘personality’ was adrenalin-driven and
by balancing my blood sugar levels my ‘personality’ became
more relaxed. The dietary change helped my recovery).
5.
Non-acceptance of limits
People who recover from CFS/ME push their limits in
order to expand them. Some people are understandably so
afraid of relapse that they never push their limits – this
means their limits remain the same or may even diminish
further. In order to get well you need to push your limits
...... carefully.
Just as repeated stretching of an elastic band makes
it bigger, so does repeated stretching of your boundaries.
When you use muscles which haven’t been used for a long time
you will suffer for it to a certain degree – even healthy
people do – so don’t be so afraid of the affects that you
don’t use your muscles at all. Keep pushing gently and your
strength and stamina will increase gently.
(I started walking a minute down the road. I
increased gradually until I was walking half-an-hour with no
problem. After that I was away).
The above 5 qualities I have noticed in people who have
recovered.
Anyone can develop and practise them –
any of which will help you in your recovery.
Good
luck. I’m sure you can do it !
“Recovery from CFS – 50 Personal Stories”
Available from Amazon.
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