5 characteristics shared by people
who recover from CFS/ME
By Alex Barton
In my experience people who recover from CFS/ME share
certain characteristics. All these characteristics can be
cultivated. (Personally, self-discipline was the hardest
lesson for me to learn and change was what I was most scared
of).
The 5 characteristics I have noticed most are:
1. Belief in the possibility of recovery
2.
Self-discipline
3. Strong determination and a refusal to
give up
4. Willingness to change
5. Non-acceptance of
limits
1. Belief in the possibility of recovery
People who recover usually believe it is possible to get
well and have tried many different ways to get better. If
you don’t believe you can recover there is no point in
trying – and your chance of recovery is therefore lessened.
If you believe in recovery you will start looking for ways
to recover and do what you think you need to do. The outcome
is a greater chance of recovery.
If you find it hard
to believe in recovery start gathering evidence that
recovery is possible by reading recovery stories. All 50
authors in the book “Recovery from CFS – 50 Personal
Stories” were diagnosed with ME or CFS by a specialist and
made full recoveries. That should help convince you.
2. Self-discipline
People who recover need self-discipline to make
themselves do the things they think they need to do to get
well – for example eat a good diet, rest, pace and so on.
You are not born with self-discipline – it is an ability you
can cultivate which needs practise to become strong.
How
do you that? One way is to choose one thing you think you
should be doing - for example taking your cod liver oil
(ugh) every day. Make a graph and give yourself a tick every
day that you do it. When you have a month full of ticks give
yourself a reward. When taking cod liver oil (ugh again) has
become a habit then you can add in something else. Your
‘self-discipline muscles’ will start developing and the more
self-disciplined you will become.
3. Determination
and refusal to give up
People who recover have the
determination to keep going and pick themselves up after
every dip. The best way to keep determined is to have a
belief in the possibility of recovery. Think of something
nice you would like in the future – a goal – perhaps you
would like to go skiing for example. Keep that thought at
the forefront of your mind. Think about where you would like
to ski, imagine yourself skiing, collect pictures and
brochures, keep a card in your pocket reminding you about
skiing. Every time you crash concentrate on what you want
most, the skiing and it will help you to pick up and carry
on.
Remember, recovery is not smooth, it is all ups and
downs.
Don’t let the downs beat you. Concentrate on what you
want and you will naturally steer towards it. (It took me
years to find my answer. If I had given up I would still be
ill now. And skiing was my personal happy thought which
helped).
4. Willingness to Change
People who
recover make changes. Something about your life before you
got ill made you vulnerable to getting CFS/ME.
Go back
through your life, was your diet great? Were you happy in
your work and your relationships? Change whatever you think
might have contributed to your poor health and anything that
you think might be keeping you ill now.
Your previous
life resulted in CFS/ME. Change something.
(I was
terrified of change. I thought I had to change my
personality in order to get better. I didn’t want to change
my personality and thought it would be impossible anyway.
However, my ‘personality’ was adrenalin-driven and by
balancing my blood sugar levels my ‘personality’ became more
relaxed. The dietary change helped my recovery).
5.
Non-acceptance of limits
People who recover from CFS/ME
push their limits in order to expand them. Some people are
understandably so afraid of relapse that they never push
their limits – this means their limits remain the same or
may even diminish further. In order to get well you need to
push your limits ...... carefully.
Just as repeated
stretching of an elastic band makes it bigger, so does
repeated stretching of your boundaries. When you use muscles
which haven’t been used for a long time you will suffer for
it to a certain degree – even healthy people do – so don’t
be so afraid of the affects that you don’t use your muscles
at all. Keep pushing gently and your strength and stamina
will increase gently.
(I started walking a minute down
the road. I increased gradually until I was walking
half-an-hour with no problem. After that I was away).
The above 5 qualities I have noticed in people who have
recovered.
Anyone can develop and practise them – any of
which will help you in your recovery.
Good luck. I’m sure
you can do it !
“Recovery from CFS – 50 Personal
Stories”
Available from Amazon.
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