My Approach

The problem with CFS/ME is that nobody really knows what causes the illness and there is no recognised treatment as yet which will 'cure' it. This means that people with CFS are often left completely on their own. Not only do you have to find out for yourself how you can get better, but you have to do it when you have very little, if any, physical or mental energy to do anything at all! Ideally, you need looking after. In the late nineteenth century TB patients were sent to convalescent homes in the Swiss mountains for fresh air, sunshine, good food, plenty of rest and with nurses to look after them. Unfortunately, convalescent homes for people with CFS don't exist and the reality is that, if you want to get well, you have to gather up whatever little strength you have, and do it yourself.

My thoughts on how you can help yourself

Where to start? That is the problem. It is all very confusing and many people with CFS have expended a great deal of money and energy going to lots of different doctors, having lots of different tests and trying lots of different therapies – or trying nothing at all because they simply don't have the energy to sort through it all or the money to spend.

When I was ill I studied people who had recovered from 'incurable illnesses', 'against all odds', and I discovered that they all had one thing in common. They had all changed something. Typically they had changed their diets, their lifestyles or their minds. That is, they removed stress and improved conditions allowing natural healing to take place.

As a nurse I know that the likelihood of recovery from any illness is greatly increased by the removal of stress, and CFS is no different. In fact, there is often a much higher degree of stress on people with CFS because it is such a controversial illness with little help available from the medical profession. Healing is delayed or prevented in the presence of stress hormones and so, in my view, if you have CFS and you are trying to heal yourself on your own, the most important thing you can do to help yourself is to look at every area of your life and write down everything that you think may be stressing you, both physically and emotionally.

This means looking at your lifestyle, your diet, and your emotions. You then need to tackle each item on the list, as well as you can, starting with the easiest. Your body naturally strives towards healing, so the reduction of stress, improved conditions and a bit of time, will go a long way towards a return of good health, and may, in some cases, be all you need.

I offer and sometimes combine, counselling, coaching and nutrition

Because CFS can affect every area of your life, both physical and emotional, you might need help in a variety of ways. I offer, and sometimes combine, counselling, coaching and nutrition – which hopefully offers whatever you feel you need the most, in either 'mind' or 'body' context, or both. Most clients come to me with no idea at all of what kind of help they need, they just know that they need help; others have a very clear idea. Together we decide on the best approach for them.

Before making an appointment I suggest an informal chat on the telephone so that we can discuss your individual case and whether I can help. Sessions can be arranged either face to face or on the telephone. The number of sessions you have is entirely dictated by you. You may need only one or two sessions, or you may prefer weekly sessions for the first few weeks, followed by monthly sessions for a few months. I don't encourage anyone to stay as a client any longer than they need, because the aim is that you should establish a clear route towards your recovery, and be able to continue confidently and positively along that route on your own.

Coaching

My first question to my clients is “what do you want?”. Typically they say things like ... walking to the nearest postbox, going to my son's wedding, going on holiday with the family, returning to work, finding a girlfriend, being 'happy', a better relationship with someone, a social life, getting to university – and so on. Although most of my clients say they want 'good health', it is useful to establish why they want good health and what is it that they would like to be doing if they did have good health, because it is usually easier to work towards something concrete. I help all my clients to clarify what they would like to work towards, and then we work out a plan of action to reach it.

This means taking small steps forward in the right direction, and might mean lifestyle changes, dietary changes, 'thinking' changes and so on. At each session we discuss what steps they would like to take towards their goal, we talk about how they got on the previous week/month, and we deal with any obstacles as they arise. Obstacles always arise. If there were no obstacles you would already easily have achieved whatever you wanted. As your coach, I am here to help you overcome the physical and emotional obstacles which are holding you back from the freedom, good health and happiness that you deserve.

Not only can coaching help you to regain your health, but it gives you a purpose in life, a reason to get up in the morning and it chases the blues away.

Recommended Book: “Be Your Own Life Coach” by Fiona Harrold

Counselling

Your body should naturally be in a state of health and harmony, but if you find yourself in a situation which threatens that state, your body, a very intelligent, complex organism, will let you know by sending you messages. Those messages are 'feelings', and feelings are 'calls to action'. Just as physical feelings urge you to act to change the situation you are in (for instance, pain lets you know that you need to remove your finger from the hot plate, and cold tells you to put on a jumper), emotional feelings also urge you to act to change the situation you are in (fear urges you to run away, loneliness urges you to reach out and connect). If you are feeling pain in any area of your life, it is an intelligent message from your body telling you that you need to act to change something in order to return to health and harmony.

Sometimes 'situations' can't be changed, but your 'perception' can. Nothing has a meaning except that which you give it, and if something appears bad it is because you are seeing it as bad. It may be that you can't see the benefits. You only get a snapshot of your life as it is at the moment and it may be that you just can't see the bigger picture. Changing your perception can make a difficult situation easier to live with, and often it can even change the situation itself.

Negative feelings have a purpose, and if you ignore them they will rumble along creating discord in your life, or increase in intensity until they get your attention. If you are having difficulties, a counsellor can help you to sort through your feelings, attach a meaning to them, and deal with them, so that your body no longer needs to keep sending you such uncomfortable messages. We're all very good at ignoring our feelings and carrying on regardless. However, if you have CFS, now is a good time to start listening.

Recommended book: “Being Happy” by Andrew Matthews

Nutrition

Good nutrition is important because you are, literally, what you eat.

For example, if you eat a Macdonald's hamburger one day and you look in the mirror the next, the protein from the meat will have been used to build and repair your muscles, organs, brain chemicals, hormones, hair and so on. The carbohydrate from the bun will have been turned into glucose and used up as energy or stored as fat. And the fat from the meat or dressing will be staring right back at you in the whites of your eyes; it will be a major part of your brain (65% of your brain is made out of fat), a part of every cell in your body, in the lipid layers of your skin and used to manufacture your stress hormones and produce energy. The quality of your body depends on the quality of the food that you put into it.

You need enough protein and natural fats to build and maintain your body on a daily basis and you need natural carbohydrates in the form of fruit and vegetables to give you nutrients and glucose for energy. However, a very common problem nowadays is our tendency to fill up on too many man-made carbohydrates (refined flours and sugars) at the expense of the proteins, fats and natural carbohydrates which we need to maintain our bodies on a daily basis.

If you have CFS you really need to make sure that you are eating an optimal diet. Not only does everybody need a good diet, but your needs are more important because you have to rebuild and repair a very sick body. You will probably need more quality proteins and fats in order to do this, and fewer man-made carbohydrates, because you aren't as active as you normally are.

If you would like to get in touch, you're welcome to email me at .