One way to deal with guilt

By Alex Barton

Guilt is a useful emotion to have. It tells us when we have stepped outside our personal moral boundaries. To feel good again we have to act in a way which takes us back within our moral boundaries. So guilt can be a useful guide-line by which to live our lives.

So you are feeling guilty?

If you are feeling guilty you can act to resolve that guilt.

However, guilt can sometimes get out of hand and you can feel guilty when you have no reason to feel guilty or when you have already done what you can to atone for it. If you are tired or depressed it is easy for guilt to get out of hand. These are skewed emotions that do not have a basis in reality.

“The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt”
Ayn Rand

If you are plagued with feelings of guilt ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is it true that it is your fault ?

2. Is it really true that it is your fault ? (Sometimes things happen that is no-one’s fault)

3. Would anyone else say you are to blame ?

4. Is it all your fault ? Is there anyone else who can share the blame?

3. How many other people can share the blame?

4. So what percentage of blame is actually yours ? (Make a pie chart apportioning blame to all involved).

5. Have you done everything you can to atone for your percentage of the blame?

6. Write a list of anything and everything you can do to atone for your guilt

7. Then add more ….

8. Now start tackling them, starting with the easiest and ticking them off one a time

You are doing now doing everything you can to absolve yourself from guilt and there is nothing else you can do. You can be guilt-free because you are paying your penance.

Still feeling Guilty?

“It is quite gratifying to feel guilty when you have done nothing wrong. How noble”
Hannah Arendt

Below is a way of dealing with skewed feelings of guilt that won’t go away no matter how much penance you pay !

10 Day Mental Challenge - Anthony Robbins

“Never spend more than 10% of your time on the problem. Always spend at least 90% of your time on the solution”
Anthony Robbins

The rules of the game:

1. For the next 10 days refuse to dwell or indulge in any thoughts of guilt. When you catch yourself sliding into guilt ....

2. Think of a something you can say to yourself which will make you feel better. Write it down. Keep it on a card and use it next time you feel guilty.

3. Now redirect your focus immediately so you stop feeling guilty. Think about something else. Watch TV, read a book, anything.

4. If you catch yourself indulging in guilt don’t beat yourself up – as long as you change your state immediately from guilt to something else.

5. However, if you continue to feel guilty for any length of time you must wait until the following morning – and then

start the 10 days all over again regardless of how many days in a row you’ve already completed.

What will the 10 Day Mental Challenge do for you?

1. It will make you aware of how often you are engaging in fruitless guilty feelings which are dragging you down.

2. It will force you to search for empowering alternatives

3. It will give you a great jolt of confidence every time you take control of your thought processes and turn your situation around.

4. Most importantly it will help you to create new more positive habits of thinking which will lead you to a happier and healthier life.

Once you have practise in leaving guilty feelings behind you will be able to use the same process to get rid of any negative feeling which is colouring your life.

Is this just a 10 day exercise?

No. You never have to return to feeling guilty again unless you choose to. By the time you have completed 10 consecutive days you should have formed a habit which will be easy to maintain with just a little discipline.

“We can’t control the wind or the rain or the other vagaries of the weather.
But we CAN tack our sails such that we can steer the course that we desire”
Anthony Robbins.